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Chuck Lauer 52 My 20 Life Lessons By Chuck Lauer, Former Publisher of Modern Healthcare and Author, Public Speaker and Career Coach P eople often suggest to me that I share some of the insights I have gained in a long life and career in healthcare, publishing, public speaking and consulting. I have done so in columns and books, but I thought I would try to synthesize these ideas in one short list. So here goes: 1. Find new friends and cherish the ones you have. Friends are a scarce and precious resource. True friendship is based on trust and shared experience. It is a rare thing to have even one true friend aside from your spouse. The older you get, the harder it is to find someone you can trust implicitly. Unless you have someone you can confide in, you are missing one of the great experiences in life. 2. Set your own altitude with a positive attitude. Be the person in the office or in a meeting with a smile on your face. I notice every day that when I greet people with a smile they invariably smile back and make eye contact. A smile makes you feel better too. 3. Cultivate a sense of humor. A joke is a great icebreaker. Self-deprecation shows you are human and don't take yourself too seriously. Most people enjoy being around those who see the humor in life. God knows there's enough of it! 4. When stumped, ask for help. There is no greater honor you can pay another person than asking for their assistance. People generally enjoy helping others, and when asked will do amazing things. 5. Mind your manners. Good manners are a mirror into the soul of another person as to how they feel about people. "Thank you" and "May I help you?" and "please" are all magic words. Everyone appreciates these small courtesies. 6. Every once in while take the time to send people small notes or cards thanking them for something they have done to help you. A teacher, a coach, even a doctor — you would be amazed at how people respond to your taking the time to write and send a note. 7. If you are frustrated in your work, try to change things so you are more challenged and given more opportunity to succeed. Sometimes all it requires is for you to tell your boss how you feel. If you have what it takes to do more and your boss won't help, then it's time to look elsewhere for new challenges and inspiration. 8. Always dress appropriately for the occasion. Clothes should be looked upon as representing your values and character, and others do judge you in part based on how you present yourself. A job interview, a dinner party with colleagues, a night at the opera with your spouse and friends require proper attire. Leave the jeans and shorts for weekends at home. Subscribe Today! Becker's Hospital Review CEO Report E-Weekly To subscribe to the FREE E-Weekly, visit www.BeckersHospitalReview.com and click on the "E-Weekly" tab or call (800) 417-2035 9. Speak up when asked for your opinion on a matter. Let people know where you stand and what your values are. People wouldn't ask you unless they wanted an honest answer, and too often out of political correctness or fear, people couch their answers so that they sound generic and boring. 10. Learn how to really listen. It's a lost art. If someone important to you wants your attention, turn off all the other noise and focus on everything that person is saying. When you listen you can be truly enlightened. 11. Go out of your way to help others. Don't sit around clucking over the plight of a single mother who is being thrown out of her home or a friend who needs help finding a new job. If you can find some way to help even one other person, you will be repaid many times over in countless ways, not least in how you feel about yourself. 12. Treat all women with good manners and respect. They are the prime movers of all our lives and have been given the ability to give life to others. It is a sacred trust. 13. Be kind to all animals no matter what the situation is. I sincerely believe that how someone treats animals reveals that person's true character and values. 14. Spend time with your grandchildren but don't smother them. Offer them support and love and let them know you are available to them when they need you. Otherwise, back off and let their parents be the guiding lights of these young people's lives. 15. Live your life as if your life depended on it. If you want to be a writer or musician, go for it, but don't sit around talking about it. Believe me when I say it, life is incredibly short. Don't go to your grave with the words "I wish I could have…" 16. When you have been hurt by someone or been the person who has done wrong, reach out. Not everyone can handle it, but I have had others who have told me how much they appreciated my effort to communicate. Learn how to apologize. Instead of having an enemy, you might rekindle a friendship. 17. Love your family and love life itself. Think of the good things in life and think of the fact that you are an American citizen and free to be who you are. Be thankful and grateful! 18. Be true to yourself and accept who you are. You're special — there is only one of you in the whole wide world. So go after life with everything you have. 19. Embrace change. It's essential to life. I see so many people afraid to make a decision because it involves confronting the status quo. I honestly believe we were put on this earth to upset the apple cart. 20. If you can, don't retire! It's a killer and has been proven over and over to be so. You may choose later in life to work as a volunteer or work for yourself, but your brain needs stimulation and your soul needs a mission. Stay active and stay challenged. n